Sadly, we never knew that the greatest love of our life would be taken away from us at just 11 months old. On October 7, 2010 I was leaving work and on my way to pick up Noah from daycare when I received the call that changed my life forever. It was the police department saying they had Noah at the Maple Grove Hospital and we needed to get there immediately. He was taking a nap at daycare and was found unresponsive. I prayed and prayed the entire drive to the hospital. Please save my perfect boy! He's only 11 months and I can't live without him so he HAS to be ok. As soon as I walked through the emergency room doors and saw him, I knew he was gone. There were so many doctors working on him, so many machines, so many tubes. My baby boy was laying lifeless on the table, slightly blue and cold. Scott and my family arrived shortly after that. The doctor told us they had tried to revive him for an hour but he was gone. My own flesh and blood that I carried for 9 months and played with for 11 months – just gone. We were in a complete state of shock as we spent the next few hours just being with Noah. We got to hold him and they gave me a lock of his hair and his final footprints.
We later found out from the medical examiner that he had no medical problems or injuries of any kind. He did not suffocate on his blanket, it was not because he was sleeping on his stomach, and it was not the environment he was in. He just died. They are able to tell as the respiratory tract was shut down immediately with no signs of struggle. He breathed out and just never breathed back in. They claimed it to be Sudden Unexpected Infant Death. It's terrifying to know that as a parent you do everything in your power to make sure your children are safe. We were the best parents we could be to Noah and we find comfort in that. We gave him everything we could, we always made sure he was safe and happy. Somehow he died anyways and we will never have the answers but we hope to live on and dedicate our lives to his memory. He was the greatest most amazing little boy in the world. We love him more than we even knew our hearts could love. We only got 11 months with him, but they were the BEST 11 months of our lives.
We decided to create this blog for several reasons: for a place to tell stories about Noah, a place to write our feelings and grieve, a place for others to follow our progress if they wish, a place to announce upcoming events we will attend or put on in memory of Noah, and most of all a place for other people who God for bid might be in this situation someday. I have found comfort in reading the blogs of other parents who have lost a child as it’s taught me that somehow life will move on and time will start to heal this horrific pain. I hope to provide that for anyone else who may need it.
Life without Noah is something we never imagined. We thought we’d watch him play soccer like his daddy, go to school, dance at his wedding, and be there when his children were born. We had so many plans for him and we never knew life could be cut short. We know that now we have Noah as our gaurdian angel forever. He will watch over us and our family and always be with us. We see him in rainbows and the brightest stars in the sky.
He taught us so much in his short 11 months: How to love to the fullest, how to not take a single day for granted, how to laugh all the time and find the “fun” in everything, and most of all he taught us that being a parent is the GREATEST joy in the world to us and we hope to have it again someday.